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I’ve recently become enamored with a new blog called Junkbuzzed. The writer shares my bizarre sense of humor and extreme love of convoluted wordplay. I find his vocabulary intoxicating. Yes, I am indeed a weirdo. So it goes. Anyway, I wanted to point you in the direction of a very funnny blog post of his that chronicles his recent run-in, argument and treaty over post-sex sleepovers. The treaty is now referred to as the ‘Fuck And Duck‘.

Here’s a sample of the argument:

I however am not a rational person; I am a man – and a very sleepy one at that. Imagine an artistic, highly sensitive bear in mid-winter’s slumber. Then give him a sense of humor and an emotionally crippling caffeine addiction, and you’ve got me. So I decide to fight back.

“WHAT!”

Yes, that was my way of fighting back. You see, I know this girl – well enough to have sex with her and share her bed from time to time. I also know that by the act of yelling back at her, I have in her mind commenced hostilities.

“DON’T – YOU – FUCKING – YELL – AT – ME – YOU – MOTHERFUCKER – “

Her words are punctuated, if not over-annunciated, by jabs from her spear, which has penetrated both my blanket-cocoon as well as my fetal defenses, and is now poking me square in the kidney.

And here’s the resolution:

- Sleepovers will be conducted in separate beds
- She gets to pick her bed first
- He doesn’t get to bitch about it
- He may stay in her bed until She falls asleep, because She kind of likes that
- But if He falls asleep there, She gets to hit him with a trident

Possible Exceptions to the Fuck-’n-Duck:
- If She is really drunk, He may stay
- If She’s done more drugs than He has, He may stay (because nothing in all the world will wake her from that sleep)
- If He is dying, He may request to spend his last night on earth in her bed (She still has first right of refusal)
- If Obama wins, He may spend the night in her bed, as both parties will be getting waaayyyyyy tanked
- If McCain wins, He may spend the night in her bed, as one or both of them will be moving to Canada the following morning
- If He allows himself to be tased by her, He may sleep in bed (additionally, She gets to keep taser at bedside just in case)

Other articles discussed:
- I am a douchebag, and this is an incontrovertible fact
- Any other douchebag would have had his ass dumped by now; however, I give really good cunnilingus

This is a lengthy post, but it had me laughing through the whole thing. So go check out the entire post and enjoy.

Filed under: Humor, Relationships | No Comments »

It’s been awhile since I posted anything sex-related. Mostly I just haven’t seen anything that really motivated me to write. Lately, as you can probably deduce from my recent posts, it’s been all about the business. The lack of gas and the state of financial affairs has us climbing the walls. But we’re trying to stay postive and focus on building the business up.

But today, it’s Saturday, Ash is away and I’m just chilling, for a surprising change. And I woke up this morning thinking about dirty talk during sex. Don’t ask. It’s just the way I am. My mind covers random things when I’m waking up. Yesterday it was gauging the purchase cycle of my vehicles to determine when I might actually purchase an electric car, assuming availability begins around 2010. So anyway, I have been finding out recently that dirty talk is in fact a HUGE turn-on for me. And I am extremely surprised about this! Let me explain.

You see, I’ve have seen a dirty movie once or twice. Some might even say that I have a penchant for movies of the nudity-prolific type. I know this comes as a surprise. I mean, really, how many people who sell sex toys like porn. I suspect I’m a rarity. But there you have it. And because of this, I have grown increasingly jaded about the fake porn moans, and the silly dialogue. So I figured that when confronted with real-life dirty talk, I’d be rolling my eyes and thinking about how un-cool this is. But it turns out that is not the case at all. So now I am advocating you, my loyal readers (reader?), to try your hand at talking dirty with your partner.

Now I know that you are thinking that you seem silly doing it, but your partner will think you are anything but silly. And really, if you think about sex, half of the intimacy of the thing is that everything about it looks silly. It’s two people (or more) looking absolutely ridiculous together and not caring. How hot is that?

So, in my own experience, the key to learning to do this, is to ease into it. You can’t force it. Start with announcing what feels good and what you want more of. Then you gradually become more explicit in what you are vocalizing. And as soon as your partner starts reacting positively to your statements, next thing you know you’ll be calling out to “pound this” and “ram that” and “squeeze harder on those jumper cables”. That last part may be just me though.

Another thing that we’ve found to help out is to turn on some music. Not TV, but music. This breaks the silence, but doesn’t have to distract or command your attention. Pretty much any music will do. You’re just trying to break the silence barrier.

So try this out. You really may find that there is a grain of truth to some of the porn cliches. And you may find that this leads to one of the hottest sexual encounters that you’ve ever had. If you’d like some more info on the topic to give you guidance, You can check out one of the books the we offer called “The Fine Art Of Erotic Talk”.

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Now you can get your Silver Stars fix 7 days a week as we will now be open every day!  We’re testing out demand for being open on Sundays, so for the next few weeks, we will be open from 1-5. In addition to the extra day, we’re also returning to our old hours which will extend your shopping hours later. So the new hours for the store are:

• Monday - Thursday: 11 AM - 8 PM
• Friday - Saturday: 11 AM - 9 PM
• Sunday: 1 PM - 5 PM

Hopefully you will find these new hours useful and that they fit your schedule better.

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Lots of stuff has been going on recently at Silver Stars. First off, we want to take a moment and thank each and every one of you that came out for a Grand Opening celebration last week and made it such a huge success. We had the single best day of business that we’ve had since we opened. Not just since we became a lingerie store, but as long as we’ve been in business! We can’t thank you enough.

So, we’re finally starting to get rolling again on customers, after many months of no business. But we’ve just begun the process of letting people know about us and we could still use the help of you all. So if you are a fan of Silver Stars, pass the word along. We’re trying to get the word out and every little bit helps.

And if you haven’t had a chance to stop in and check out the new lingerie boutique, please do. We would love to have you visit us and chat awhile.

We also just returned from the International Lingerie Show in Las Vegas where we picked up all kinds of new goodies for the store. So make sure you make it a point to come by and see all the new things that we’ve got available.

On a totally unrelated note, if you are out in Vegas, make sure you catch the show, Zumanity. It’s Cirque Du Soleil’s 18 and over, adult-oriented show. We checked it out while we were out there and it was fantastic! So make sure you see it.

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Silver Stars is excited to announce that we will be having our Grand (Re) Opening this Friday night from 4 PM - 9 PM, to commemorate our new lingerie boutique. We’re hoping that this is going to be a pretty happening shindig, as we’ve invited everyone we know, met, spoken to, heard about and passed by on the highway. But just in case you don’t fall into that group, consider this your formal invitation to stop by and take part in what will be the most exciting thing going on in Gainesville, GA in possibly forever.

We will have free food and drinks for everyone. There will also be gifts, door prizes, items on sale, music, a pony (I’m kidding), a fifteen foot tall bulldog (I’m not kidding) and more. The Chamber of Commerce along with the local newspaper will there at 4 o’clock for a ribbon cutting, so if you stop by then, you get to have your picture in the paper. You’ll be famous! What else do you want?!?

You really don’t want to miss out. So please feel free to come by, say hello and eat some of our food. We hope to see each and everyone one of you this Friday night!

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As you may or may not have noticed, we have a new feature here at Silver Stars. We now offer a collection of guides that offer up tips and how-to’s for all sorts of sex activities, from choosing the right vibrator to how to engage in anal sex. The guides are designed to give you a basic understanding of the topics and help you to introduce them into your sex life.

We’ve spent the last few months assembling these guides. We’ve started with guides that cover the topics that we get the most questions about. And we intend to add to them quite regularly. We will continue to fill the list out with a wide range of topics covering all sorts of activities.

Our guides are meant to be informative starting points to get you moving on your road to discovering new things. They are not meant to be all-encompassing resources, so if you find that you still have questions, most guides contain links to places where you can get more in-depth information.

No discussion about our guides would be complete, however, without talking about our wonderful author, AlwaysArousedGirl. AAG, as she is known by her avid readers, has a widely read blog where she discusses her own adventures as a lover, writer and mother, and the balancing act that oftentimes encompasses. Her posts are as hot and steamy as they are touching and occasionally heart-rending. You’ll also encounter her writing in lots of other high-profile places as well, such as Janes Guide and Fleshbot. So with such an impressive resume, we are thrilled to have her writing guides for us.

So even if you are experienced in all of the topics covered, check them out anyway. You may find something new and informative there and if nothing else, you’ll get to enjoy AAG’s down-to-earth way of approaching these subjects.

In the meantime, if you have any suggestions for guides that you would like to see or topics that you would like to have covered, let us know about them in the comments below.

Click here to view our list of guides.

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Got another very hot image for you. This time it’s from a site called IShotMyself.com. As you can probably guess from the title, the idea behind the site is that people make photo sets of themselves and submit them to the site. So lots of very stunning amateur photography. Plus, it’s a very cool concept by a site that goes to great lengths to ensure the positivity of what they are doing. Very sexy indeed!

(Click for larger version)

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According to an article in The Guardian newspaper, one in five women in the US are childless. These numbers were gathered by a survey from the US Census Bureau. That equates to 20% of the population! I have to admit that I am quite surprised by that number. And according to the article:

“The proportion of childless women has been increasing steadily by about one percentage point a year,” said Jane Dye, the report’s author.

Here comes the part that I disagree with though:

The bureau’s statistics give no clue as to whether US women are consciously putting their careers before their families and remaining childless, or are experiencing fertility problems perhaps as a result of trying to become pregnant towards the end of their fertile years.

How about the idea that maybe they just aren’t interested in having kids, as opposed to “putting their careers before their families.” This really struck a sour note with me. You see, Ash & myself made the decision some time ago not have children. Ash has a definite motherly instinct to her, but so far no real desire for kids. As for me, I really don’ t relate well to kids and I have absolutely zero desire to have one. I’ve always felt this way and it was something we discussed before we got married. We decided that if it happened, then it happened. But we weren’t going to make any special efforts to have kids.

What has surprised me is the number of people who, when they found out about this, looked at us as though we were fire-breathing demons. The most common answer that people give is, “That’s ok. You’ll change your mind.” Like we haven’t really thought about it and sooner or later we’ll wake up, come to our senses and procreate like we’re supposed to.

I even disagree with the term ‘childless’. I prefer to think of it as ‘child-free’. You see Ash & I like to sleep late on the weekends. Decide at 11 o’clock at night that we want an ice cream cone. Leave on a Thursday going out of town on a whim. And even fornicate all over the house whenever the urge strikes. All of which are not kid-conducive. We value all of these things and, as selfish as it may sound, don’t want to give them up.

Kids change everything about your life. At least, if you are a good parent, they should. And we happen to really like our life the way it is at the moment. Our best friends just had their first baby and we are witnessing with them first-hand just how much your life changes and that is something that we have no plan to accept.

And yes, we even value running our business, which requires a ton of effort. But that most certainly isn’t why we decided not to have kids. It was more of, “Hey, since we don’t have kids, we could take the risk of opening a store!”

So it was with much surprise and glee that I saw this article and realized that there are lots of people that are choosing not to have kids, just like us. And that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are infertile or that they are career-obsessed workaholics either. Because there are a few folks out there, just like Ash & I who have decided to forego that experience and not take the route of what we are ’supposed’ to do next. And if that leads to a hollow existence of spending time with just the two of us, sleeping late, taking vacations on a whim and fornicating everywhere, well, we’ll just have to try to make the best of it.

Click here to read the full article

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Seems that the current administration and the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) are colluding to adapt the definition of ‘abortion’ to now include the use of contraceptives, such as the pill, the patch, the shot, the ring, the IUD, and emergency contraception.

They have just announced a proposal which strives to now redefine conception as taking place, not at the moment that the embryo is implanted in the uterus, which is the widely held medical viewpoint, but rather at the moment that the egg is fertilized by the sperm. This would basically mean that any form of birth control which occurs after the moment when the egg and sperm meet, would be an ‘abortion’.

So you may be asking that if the medical community at large doesn’t classify abortions this way, what is the motivator for the HHS to classify it like this? A poll. Yep, an honest-to-god opinion survey. Here’s the quote, directly from the proposal:

A 2001 Zogby International American Values poll revealed that 49% of Americans believe that human life begins at conception.

What makes this so appalling though, (and this is the real hook of the proposal, by the way), is that there is no way to detect that an egg has been fertilized until the embryo implants itself in the uteran wall. This is why the medical community makes no attempt to classify that moment as when pregnancy begins.

So there you have it. Not science, not research. A poll… just like you get called to take while you’re trying to eat dinner. But our current governments viewpoint has been so strongly slanted toward teaching ‘abstinence-only’ (which has been a total failure, but is the topic for another post), that I can’t say that this move is terribly shocking.

So what does this mean exactly? They want to reclassify the moment that an ‘abortion’ takes place to a biologically undetectable time. And the repercussions of this is, to quote the source article:

Anyone working for a federal clinic, or a health center that receives federal funding–even in the form of Medicaid–and would like to prevent a woman from accessing most prescription birth control methods has federal protection to do so.

This is absolutely an outrage. What can you do about it? Well, for starters, MoveOn.org has started a petition, which you can sign to express your disapproval. The next step is to send a clear message to our government, local, state and federal, that we will not stand for this kind of crap and we will fire them come election time. Remember that they work for us. And it’s up to you to make them remember it too.

Click here for the source article.

Click here to read the actual proposal.

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